Is it time yet??

So guess what ladies and gents (if there really are any gents reading this), it looks like we are actually close.  I called the fertility clinic today to pay a bill and found out that they were waiting for me to call them.  They weren't sure I was going ahead with this?!?!  Pull my hair out and scream!!!!!  For freaking sakes if I just shipped my most precious commodity, my 8 children, you would think I am going ahead with things.  OR you would think that you might want to hold my hand through this process so that I would know that you are waiting for my go ahead.  Someone please tell me what I am supposed to do, I don't read minds.  I just have to say though, I did feel like this picture a little bit.  Sending my children through the mail system--

Maybe I haven't been the best patient, my mind has been so preoccupied!  I just moved from CT to AB, since my hubby finished his residency, and that was one huge undertaking!  I am so proud of him, but I never want to move across the country and into another country again!  That was so much work, so much stress, and agonizing.  I miss those dern 'mericans already!!!  But we made the move and now I can focus on making a baby!  WAHOO!!  

Andrea and I both happened to call the clinic today, about 5 minutes apart, and found out today that we are a go!!!  (We are so in sync)  She ran to a pharmacy and picked up her estrogen patches, 

slapped one on her belly

 and then she heads to Vancouver on Thursday to do an ultrasound.  Then two weeks later she will head there again for a lining check to make sure she is ready to transfer the baby and hopefully we will be transferring that weekend.  So we are looking at around the 23rd?  Cannot believe it!!  I am already that crazy mom and checked out what the due date would be--with a day 5 embryo and transfer being on the 23rd, we will have a baby around April 9th.  What a perfect month to have a baby!  We were hoping a few months earlier, but nothing beats a beautiful baby in spring.  Our daughter was born on March 21 and my bday is April 16, so maybe I will get to share my birthday with another miracle baby!  I get so teary thinking about it.

So we need everyone to think fluffy thoughts for the next two weeks for Andrea's lining.  I know, never thought I would ask people to do this, but we will take all the luck we can get!  The docs said we have really good chances of success first round, but you just never know.  I will be on pins and needles the whole time, but I am also living in reality.  I just choose to only think of success right now and I will face whatever comes.  

Oh, did I tell you that I will finally get to meet Andrea in person for transfer?!  I can't wait to meet her!!!  Talking to her on the phone is so awesome, Facebook is great, but in person cannot be beat.  I can't thank Surrogacy in Canada Online more for introducing us to Andrea!  There are so many amazing women who belong to this organization who are making families for so many and making dreams come true.  We have been given such a gift from andrea, she is going through so much just for us, we love this girl!

We have frozen embryos!!

I finally got the phone call I've been waiting for all week!  How many of those 13 fertilized eggs became Day 5 embryos?  We got 8!!  I seriously can't believe it!  We are so happy and are hoping that this will be enough. . Now, we are just finishing up paperwork to have them shipped off to Vancouver where Andrea is going to be for the transfer.  I also have to have a psychological evaluation done which is just to make sure you understand all that you are agreeing to do and that I am sound mentally. Thankfully we will be doing that after the drugs!  Haha. Anyway, thought I would do a quick update.

I thought this was interesting on timing of the fertilized egg

This is what a day 5 blastocyst looks like

Goodbye Needles!

I apologize, this will be a long post!

I swore I was going to write more during the whole hormone process, but I had company stay with us during that time, and then I got so exhausted!  I just couldn't find the motivation to write.  So the plan was to take my Follistim every night, starting the tuesday, and see the doc for bloodwork on Friday.  Well, I got a phone call Friday afternoon saying my Estrogen shot up so high that I needed to start my Ganirelix immediately (it tells your body not to ovulate) and come back in the morning for an ultrasound and another blood test.  I came in and they saw about 11 follicles total which surprised them because my blood work kind of told them that I had a massive amount of follicles and my first ultrasound showed about 20.  They were happy though and said to go home, take my ganirelix every morning and the Follistim every night.  I got a phone call that night with a nurse saying to take a second dose of Ganirelix that night as well as the Follistim because my estrogen shot up again and my LH hormone was also dangerously high.  I can not even imagine the complexity of this whole process, let alone that I am not their only patient!  There was usually about 20 women getting their blood drawn at the same time as me.  

I did not notice any side effects from the Follistim at this point, but when I started the Ganirelix, I became quite tired and as the days went on,I also started noticing I was getting quite bloated, and  I started to cry a lot.  haha  Everything seemed a little bigger deal than it was.  So, yes, I think there was some hormone stuff going on with the second drug.  

I went back in on monday morning for another blood test and my trusty ultrasound.  You get so used to them, that it is almost like a friend coming for a visit.  I don't know if this is just me, but as my ovaries got bigger, the discomfort of the ultrasounds lessened.  Maybe because they didn't have to dig around so much with those now baseballs in there??  Yikes.  So this is when the doctor discussions began. They started to argue whether I needed to be triggered that day!  (Use a drug, sometimes HCG but in my case Lupron, to trigger ovulation)  It was only day 7 and they never trigger before day 8.  I had about 7 follicles that were over 20mm and about 5 that were above 16mm.  When a follicle is getting close to maturity, they want to see sizes around 16mm.  So this doctor wanted me to get going with the third drug.  My doctor came in and said no, but that I would definitely take the trigger drug the next evening.  Last Follistim injection this night and last Ganirelix in the morning.

Tuesday morning, woke up again bright and early to head over to the clinic for my final blood test and then the nurse said I needed to go pick up my Lupron at the pharmacy.  I had a dose of HCG to take but it looked like I was a sure candidate for *Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS) and Lupron has been known to reduce this chance.

*Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome may occur after using injectable hormone medications during in vitro fertilization (IVF), a treatment for infertility. Injectable fertility medications stimulate the development of eggs in the ovaries, but it can be difficult to tell exactly how much medication you might need.

Too much of the hormone in your system can lead to ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), where your ovaries become swollen and painful. A small number of women may develop severe OHSS, which can cause rapid weight gain, abdominal pain, vomiting and shortness of breath.

I was so excited to be taking my last injection that night!  I have gained such a respect for those that need to give themselves injections for life.  It is not just that it is a tad painful, but you just want to be normal again and not have to inject yourself with drugs anymore.  Anyway, I got pretty bloated the next day, and uncomfortable, but really looking forward to thursday morning to find out if any eggs were good in there.  

I would not normally show my belly, but come on!  Jordyn kept touching it and saying, "theres a baby in there".  Sure looked like it, it was so funny.

So I woke up the next day, ate nothing and headed to the clinic with Dave.  They prepped me, put on a nice cap on my head, and then walked me to the surgery suite.  I didn't really like laying on a half bed and being conscious of putting my legs in full stirrups, but what a treat for those nurses.  Full view!!  I woke up with a little bit of pain and they gave me something for that and then came in to tell me that there were 21 eggs retrieved.  I was so proud that my body actually cooperated and that it didn't look like we would need to do this again.  At least for now. 

Since Thursday, I have been a little sore in the ovaries, but no sign of OHSS, which I was so nervous about. My hormonal side seems to be settling down a bit, mothers day doesn't count cause I always cry on mothers day.  The clinic called me on Friday to say that there were 15 mature eggs and were able to fertilize 13 of them.  We are now crossing our fingers  that at least a few will have matured and able to be frozen for transfer to BC.  We should find out by tuesday the final results.  

The lovely Andrea had her screening done in Vancouver on the same day as my retrieval.  She got to experience:

The weenie wand

The lovely paper gown:

And the extra special saline injection---OUCH!

She also had her psychological screening done the evening before, but what a busy couple days.  Paired with driving 12 hours!  She is a trooper and I love her for it!!

The next post will likely be us meeting for the first time and transfer?? If I remember, I will also do a quick post on the final embryo count. Can not believe that it is all really happening and I will absolutely lose it once I meet Andrea in person.  Facebook and the phone is not enough, I am dying to give her a hug.  

Day 1--Follistim.

Well, today was the day!  I went in this morning at 7:00 to have my baseline done. I walked in to the clinic and it was full of women waiting for their blood to be taken. So I opted to get the ultrasound done first. So here is our little friend again. --even ribbed for my pleasure. Sorry mom. Haha. 

I got a good look at my ovaries, and they looked like chocolate chip cookies, which I guess is what they are looking for. I had 10 follicles on each ovary which pleased the doctor, so I did my job. They said they like to see 3-10 on each side, so she said I was high normal. Very exciting news. Plus, it looked like I was not ovulating any time soon, so good timing.

Next, I saw the nurse who explained my drugs and what to take and in what doses, and also when to come back for more blood work and ultrasounds. They gave me a nice spreadsheet so that I wouldn't forget, plus I even got her cell phone number in case of any questions. They have been so nice!!  I am sure they deal with a lot of crazy emotional women in there, so a cell phone number seems a little dangerous to me. But I took the number and ran. Haha.

I got in line for my blood work and was told if that came back that my hormones were out of whack, then they would call me to cancel the drugs. So, no news meant good news. I kept my phone near me all day thinking, there is no way I am actually starting this today. I was wrong!!  Today is definitely the day. So exciting and scary at the same time.

Here is my instructional video of my first injection. This injection is easy!!  The intramuscular ones, I can't imagine. It just burns a little afterwards. I will keep you guys updated most days I think, just so you can see if I go crazy or not. I will also show pics of the bloating. That would interest me anyway. I'm so excited!  And so happy!  Have I said how much I love my surrogate?  Cause I do!!!  This is really happening Andrea!  You are amazing!!

Quick update

First thing in the morning is my baseline test.  I seriously can't wait!!  I know it is weird, but I am really looking forward to this whole needle process.  It fascinates me, but pretty sure that is only from the deranged mind of a former phlebotomist.  I am really looking forward to seeing ultrasounds of eggs, embryos, and hopefully it means soon, a little baby ultrasound.   Awesome!

Here is a picture of the drugs and needles:

So the only possible hold up could be if my blood work comes back saying that I am about to ovulate or just ovulated or if the ultrasound shows a large follicle that looks too mature.  If that is the case, than I will have to wait 2 more weeks before I start the meds.  This is the one (and only) time I wished I had a period to help out.  Never said that before!  I know my brothers are all gagging right now.  hahaha  I am so impressed they read all this, what good brothers I have!  

I will come back on here tomorrow night to either say we are waiting two weeks, or a video of the first injection.  I am so beyond thrilled this is starting.  It is beginning to feel real now.

Happiest of Days!

It has been such a long wait!!  Last week I was telling friends how incredibly frustrated I have been and emotionally spent with the whole process already.  It hadn't even begun!!!  There has been so much confusion and wondering and phone calls, but finally today we are on to some exciting stuff.  I had an actual appointment with the fertility clinic again today and we are moving ahead.  

We started with a meeting with the doctor to figure out what we all had to do to start this process.  Not having a period makes life a little complicated for IVF and we discussed several options.  Usually in my case they would put me on birth control for a few weeks to help predict a cycle for me and when we could start the hormones for retrieval.  This is pretty typical, because they want to start you on around day 3 of your period and birth control would help them predict this.  I am sure I have mentioned before how much I hate birth control, but let me just reiterate this, I HATE BIRTH CONTROL.   It makes me a crazy person and it never has gone super well for me emotionally.  I am trying to keep myself and my husband as sane as possible during this all.  haha  

Well, as we talked about this, he remembered that I have PCOS (Poly-cystic Ovarian syndrome).  It causes your body to not ovulate regularly, but the nice thing for IVF is that PCOS causes you to produce more follicles than a normal woman would in a single cycle.  So they say that PCOS patients have some pretty good chances of success with IVF.  This is good news for me because this means I wont have to use BC.  It all sounds a little confusing, Im sorry if I am terrible at explaining it all to you.  The explanation is that it really doesnt matter when you start the drugs on a person with PCOS because they tend to not ovulate anyway, so their cycle is a little irrelevant, and when you start the drugs they respond well and really produce follicles.  So wahoo!!  

The next step was getting my physical done.  Gotta love those.  So, I cannot believe I am allowing this picture to go out into the real world, be forgiving!  hahaha  Here we are getting ready for the physical and my husband as usual playing with things he shouldn't.  

 Gotta love stirrups and the ultrasound wand.  A woman's two favourite things.

After the physical, we headed out for the consent forms for ICSI--which we have decided is best for us to do---I will do a blog post later about that.  Maybe on the day of ICSI.  We then talked to the nurse about the drugs I will be taking.  We will probably be starting my baseline next week!!  (The baseline is an ultrasound and blood work to just make sure that your cycle is at the proper place to begin the drugs and your hormones are not too out of whack)  I cannot even believe it.  So, as soon as these drugs arrive, I will post pictures of my injections, what drugs I am taking, and what all these things mean.  

Its just so exciting.  I could have little embryos in the matter of a couple weeks and we couldn't be happier!  Big shout out to our surrogate!  She has been such a dream and waits so patiently for all of this to happen.  Her needles are much bigger than mine, so I will try not to complain!!  I will also make sure she takes some pictures of her needle journey for the blog as well.  It is a very good day!

You're Putting That Where??

I finally had my first appointment with my fertility doc out here.  It was super informative, and I am very glad I had no idea about the things I should have been stressed about before going!!  I will just explain step by step the process at the doctors office that day, the 3 hour process.  Most of you reading this blog will probably not be too interested, but I thought that it might be interesting for anyone going through the IVF procedure and or surrogacy.  

I got there and filled out a bunch of forms, you know, why not?  We only have filled out hundreds of pages already, so definitely be prepared for LOTS of paperwork.  The nice thing for me is that I really enjoy filling out forms, I don't know why, but I seriously should find a job where I just fill out forms all day.  Its a nice way to shut off your brain and just do some mindless work for awhile.  Next, I met with the nurse in charge of surrogacy, she had gone over my health history and asked a ton of questions.  Then, I was weighed, which for heavens sakes, I am pretty sure I am not pregnant, but my body is really giving off hints that I could be.  I cant even call it sympathy weight, cause my surrogate isn't pregnant yet, not even close.  *Very long sigh*  Maybe the Ghirardelli sitting next to me is not the best encouragement.  Back to it.  

So then the doctor came in and sat down with me and started drawing.  I just love it when doctors draw when they explain!!  haha  It makes me chuckle.  Probably because Dave draws teeth all of the time to explain things and I find it quite entertaining because I still don't really get it, but I nod anyway.  This drawing wasn't too bad, but it scared me for a brief moment.  He started drawing an alien with very weird eyes and antennas and told me that this was a uterus.  So the scary part is that when you have a hysterectomy they sever the ligaments that attach your ovaries to your uterus and so they are no longer attached to anything in your lower region (technical terms only).  So he said sometimes the ovaries end up too high in your body and there is no way to get at your eggs and he needed to do an ultrasound to see where they were.  I looked at Dave and told him that if they weren't there then it would be really obvious that this wasn't to be. Here is the photo. 

 So next was the ultrasound of doom, that fun internal one.  Oh ladies, if you haven't experienced one of these, it is a treat.  Just absolutely lovely. 

We started looking at the screen and what do I see?  My left ovary full of these dark round spots.  YAY  Then, more fun digging and rummaging around, and we find the right one, also looking quite healthy.  He chose to really educate me about my ovaries while holding the ultrasound on that puppy.  I wanted to say, ummmm, good enough.  We can talk about this later.  But you don't want to be rude, so I just dug my nails into the bed and tried to look super interested in what he was saying.  Oh what we go through, but I still say absolutely worth it!!  I was pretty relieved to hear that there would be no problem doing a retrieval and I had a good amount of follicles that the doc said, would make it pretty successful.  

After the ultrasound is the sit down with the doc about what our options and timing were.  He said we are looking at April as the month for retrieval because he needs me to be on birth control for a month prior to put my body in a predictable cycle.  No uterus, means no period to give them an idea when my cycle starts.  I am not really looking forward to birth control!!  We have been long time enemies, so if all of a sudden my posts become erratic and crazy, you can just rest assured, I am on the pill and it should be over shortly.  

Then, when we left the office both Dave and I needed blood work to make sure we didn't have any diseases.  Mine also tested whether I was a carrier for any genetic disorders and that came back all clear!!  So now is kind of a month of waiting.  Dave and I both have to have a full physical and fill out, you guessed it, more paperwork.  Don't worry, this is only 60 pages each.  I just turn on some Netflix and fill out forms until my arm falls off. Then at the end of the month I will get some more blood work to see where they think I am in my cycle and start the birth control.  Then 21 days later I will start the hormones for retrieval and about 21 days after that---retrieval day.  I will try to always keep everyone updated with where we are at and you will hear from me a lot during the hormone stuff.  I think it will be helpful for people to know what that is like--hopefully.  We are so excited to be moving forward!  Please, if you ever have any questions don't hesitate to ask!