Saturday, January 17, 2015

I Love Roller coasters

I am happy to say that it looks like we have found a solution!!  Carlton just says it all.

Carlton DanceSince Andrea's husband is really not wanting to travel out to the states for testing, we needed to find a way to do this that worked for everyone involved. He said he was willing to do the testing now, but only if he could do it from home and not have to travel.  Our clinic out here had called us back and said there was no way we could work with them if Andrea's hubby didn't want to come out to the states. I had heard that shipping embryos was not ideal and so I was trying to decide what to do.  I was not willing to give up on Andrea, I think we are too well matched and it just feels too right!!   Do we call around to a bunch of different clinics here to see if any of them will work with us and be okay without her husband?  Well I did a lot of reading and it looked like that would not be possible.  Do we wait to do everything until we move back to Canada?  That would mean putting off all aspects of the IVF till the summer.  That didn't feel awesome to me because I am so anxious to get started and so is Andrea,  but it seemed like that might have to be the solution.  I ended up talking to a clinic in BC to ask about their surrogacy program there and we ended up talking about shipping embryos.  The nurse said that they receive shipped embryos all of the time and are very comfortable with it.  I then talked to our clinic out here in CT and they said the same thing!  I was told that the risks have lowered significantly and that the shipping protocols have gotten so much better.  SO, we have a new plan!  I am going to go forward with our clinic out here and start the retrieval process.  We should have embryos by March at the latest and we will then be able to ship our embryos out to BC where Andrea lives!  Yes, there is a slightly higher risk to our embryos, but this feels like the right decision for everyone!  Andrea and I cried when we got this all figured out, we were both so relieved with the decision!!  We now need to just hope and pray that I will have lots of eggs at retrieval and we will have quite a few healthy embryos for shipping!!  It is always risky, the odds are not the best, but we are going to hope and pray for success. I know some people are going to wonder, why not wait till you get back and lower the risks??  Well, one of the reasons is money, the other is urgency.  We have medical coverage for IVF out here, and will not back home in Canada.  Canada does not have any coverage for fertility treatments (which I will hold my opinions on that) and why not use the insurance we pay for out here?  It will probably save us $10,000!!  The other reason, urgency.   If you know me well you would know how quick I make decisions and stick to them.  I do not like plans changing, but in this situation, plans have to change all of the time.  I am trying to stick to as many of my original plans as possible to protect the crazy that comes out when I feel out of control. haha  Sometimes in surrogacy you just want to feel like something is moving forward, that you aren't always working on logistics, but that you are actually progressing!  If we waited till Canada I would feel like I just was not moving anywhere  and would never stop worrying about it.  Like, do I have any eggs?  Will we be able to get any embryos?  It is just so much longer to wait!  And, if we aren't able to produce an embryo, it also puts off Andrea working with a family that can move forward with their family.  I was told by the owner of the surrogacy agency that we work with, that there is always a major bump in this process and she hoped this was our bump.  Me too!!  I am expecting more bumps, I just hope they are minor!!


2 comments:

  1. Glad you have found a solution. You are certainly smart to do the process while you have coverage. I live in BC and have watched a friend pay so many thousands of dollars for in vitro. She has two beautiful children through it though. Good luck

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