Let the Games Begin

I can't believe I am writing this post!  We have found our surrogate!!  We talked for hours the other day and I just knew I wanted to have her be our surrogate, so I just hoped and hoped that she would feel the same way.  She is hilarious, honest, extremely open, happy, kind...I could go on!  How can you even describe the person who makes this kind of sacrifice for a stranger?  She not only has to come out here to get a psych evaluation, and medical screening, but she has to take lots of medications to trick her body into thinking it is going to be pregnant.  Wait, that's not all!  She has to then come back and have our embryo shoved inside her, and and then shove needles in her butt for months to trick her body into believing she is now pregnant with her own baby.  Wait, that's still not all!!  She then has to wait and see if the pregnancy actually took, high chances that it won't, especially the first time around!  Then be on pins and needles that the baby will make it to 40 weeks and then pop that thing out of a tiny hole and give that sweet muffin to us.  Oh, I forgot to mention what her family has to sacrifice by having a pregnant wife and mother around, with all that comes with pregnancy!  They are also making a huge sacrifice!!  Oh, and she has to fight those crazy emotions that come from being pregnant.  Did I get everything???  Probably not!!  What does she get out of this?  I know that is what lots of people are wondering.  I have thought about this so much!  I have thought that I am putting a family through a lot so that my family gets another baby. Is this fair to ask?  I don't really have an answer for that.  I can't even come to grips with the fact that she is doing this for us!  All I know is that there are great things ahead for this family!  When you do incredibly unselfish things for others, there is always karma that returns to you!!  Some book I saw said “If you send out goodness from yourself, or if you share that which is happy or good within you, it will all come back to you multiplied ten thousand times. The more love you give away, the more love you will have.”  I will accept this unbelievable gift and I will accept this kindness that is being offered.  My greatest hope in all of this, is that my children and future child will see this gift and this sacrifice and want to give back to others.  That they will believe in the kindness of strangers.  That they will believe in a world that is good and kind and hopeful.  I hope that I will in turn also know how to be a selfless giver.  My other hopes are that my blog and experiences from surrogacy can help in a small way with the misconceptions of surrogacy.  That people can see that we aren't trying to take advantage of anyone, that they are offering a gift to us.  That surrogacy is an acceptable means to having a child and that if everything is done in the proper ways, it is not a scary option. 

Dave has read my post so far and said, wow, you sound really excited.  I guess too many exclamation points.  Get used to it, I love them!!!!!!  Like I am screaming in excitement all of the time!!!!!  I definitely over use them most of the time, but in this post, definitely not.  I am that excited.  Tonight we go out to our fertility clinic to an information session with other couples that are starting the IVF process soon.  I am sure we will be the oddballs, I don't think there is going to be anyone else using surrogacy.  But, I want to know everything.  I want to know all that I will be going through, and all that my surrogate will be going through.  I want to be able to somewhat sympathize with her while she is stabbing herself over and over.  She told me that I was very welcome to get a bunch of syringes and fill them with water and inject myself with her.  Maybe I will, except that I am told its more like injecting yourself with syrup rather than water, and I don't think it is too safe to put maple syrup in my butt.  It almost sounds sacrilegious to use our precious maple syrup that way.  I do have to participate in some injections myself for the egg retrieval, but not like she will have to.

I had some people ask about the cost of surrogacy in Canada.  If it is the same as adoption, or how that works.  I am also not 100% sure yet, but I do know it is illegal for a surrogate to get paid in Canada for this.  She is reimbursed for any costs she would accrue based on the pregnancy and delivery.  We would be paying for her medications, her travel costs, money for clothing, legal costs because there are contracts involved, life insurance while pregnant... Stuff like that.  I would say it is probably comparable to adoption costs because of the IVF costs and such??  I am comparing to international adoption.  I am unsure of the costs of adoption in Canada.  Is this pricey?  Yes!  It is very pricey!  We just can't focus on the cost.  We want to focus on the baby we can one day hold and love.  That is where we have to be, or the costs can drive you mad!  Plus, I am already way too ready for this, I want a baby so bad!  We will forget about the costs one day, but I would never forgive myself if I decided a baby wasn't worth the risk of trying, or the money.  

So there it is!  We are actually headed on this journey, and we can't wait!!!  No matter the outcome, what a journey this will be.