Can anyone say hiccups?! Cause I sure can!! I cant tell you how annoyed I am by doctors, clinics, phone calls, emails, blah blah blah. Im sorry, this is going to be one of those blog posts! I need to complain and vent so it is out of my system. You think things are going super smoothly, and then oh wait, there is another hiccup. You find an awesome agency, the most wonderful surrogate, the best lawyer ever, but then your ivf clinic wants to make you INSANE!!! Being out of Canada and trying to do this is so frustrating. It took a lot of calls to them to convince them that it is okay that we are using a Canadian surrogate and we are following the Canadian laws because our baby will be born in Canada. They of course need their lawyers to look at our contract and make sure they approve of it before they will sign off on this whole process. Then they just told me that they want both my surrogate and her husband to come out to be psychologically evaluated. Well, hiccup, our surrogate's husband is overseas with work and can not come back for this or he will lose his job. Plus, he is totally willing to back up his wife in being a surrogate but does not want to be medically involved at all. Who can blame him??? We are already asking a lot of him and he deserves his right to not be interrogated for allowing his wife to do this. So now I am patiently waiting for the psychologist to get back to me to see if she will allow us to proceed. I just don't get why it is the clinics business?! Is it for liability? Probably, but we have a legal contract in place, and our surrogate is willing to do all the tests. Arrrgh. So whats the problem here?? Sometimes you just want to say, just put the embryo where I tell you to. hahaha I would never, but you just feel like you are losing your mind sometimes!! I am still so new to this whole thing, that I get really confused a lot about why things need to be done in these certain ways and why every clinic has a different policy.
Now, if you knew me, you would know that I HATE the phone!!! I hate making calls!!! I have tried on many occasions to get my mother, or other family members, or even friends to pretend they are me and make calls for me. haha I really don't like confrontation and usually calls to businesses and doctors sometimes can be confrontational, so I try to avoid it. Well, in this situation all I do is phone offices and clinics and businesses and it is so brutal. I have been now calling different clinics, but in Canada to see what their policies are on screening a surrogate. Do they want to meet with the husband too?? Also I need to know if our embryos could survive transportation since no matter what, we are doing the egg retrieval out here, so our embryos will be out here. I don't want to go through all of this just to lose our embryos in transit!! But, being in Canada for this would definitely make it a lot easier since we wouldnt be dealing with international questions. Surrogacy is just different in the states than it is in Canada and they don't understand it so I am getting a bit of a hard time about it. So the Canadian clinics would be able to understand the whole surrogacy legalities, our surrogate would be able to hopefully use a clinic closer to home and her poor husband could maybe be left out of the doctor stuff. Good grief I am just tired! Somebody please fix all of this for me so I don't have to!! Mother??? haha
In two weeks today I have my
first appointment to begin the process for the retrieval, so hopefully
that all goes smoothly and they don't decide that they aren't going to
do this for me if I don't keep the embryos in their clinic. Cause I am
starting to wonder if they are a little possessive... I have told
myself I am not allowed to throw my hands up and yell "I quit", so if I
need to I will just get a new CT clinic to make some embryos for us
knowing from the start that we will be transporting them to Canada. I
don't know, I just feel like we are starting over again. Finding and
working with this clinic has been tough!! So I am now going to change
my badatude to a more optimistic attitude and tell myself that it will
all work itself out very quickly! I can't wait to post some stuff on
the actual retrieval, medications, transfer, and then baby! I am aching
to post those things!! So happy thoughts that this is going to move
forward somehow and we will all be delirious with joy. I added a link to this video of our not so little guy when he was just a little guy because I watched it yesterday and it made me bawl! (A cute Boy) I just can't wait to be able to do this again and have another sweet little muffin. As tough as this journey is going to be, I know it is worth it!
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