Welcome Ryan V

Well, this will be a long post but I love posts like this because it is a birth story!  We women, maybe some men too, love love a good birth story.  There is always just so much excitement and anticipation and no two stories are ever the same.  I can tell you, that this story is by far my most intense of all 3 of the kids, which is a feat since luke’s delivery was quite a disaster. haha

I decided to go to Williams lake for Andrea’s 35 week doctors appointment because her family doctor said they were worried that she was polyhydramnios—(a medical condition describing an excess of amniotic fluid in the amniotic sac. It happens in less that 1% of births.)  So they referred her out to an OBGYN in Williams lake that would take over for her pregnancy so she could be more closely monitored.

Andrea had also been telling me that she felt like the baby was very low and she was having a lot of intense braxton hicks.  This was when I decided that I should go to this next doctors appointment, so I could talk to him about what the concerns were and if we were going to need to schedule an induction.  A few days before her appointment Andrea went in for an ultrasound too so they could measure how much fluid she did have and if baby was doing okay.  

I arrived on Wednesday January 25th and I stayed at Andreas house and got to help a bit around her farm.  I fed her baby lambs, dogs, cats, and her horse.  It was so fun to be out in nature and fresh air and just have some time to be with andrea and to get to feel and see baby move.  

Thursday was our appointment and the doctor received the results from the ultrasound and he told us that the baby had fluid around her heart and in her chest.  They said that it could be because baby is stressed, or that she had some sort of medical condition that we needed to figure out.  He sent us for a non-stress test to check how baby was doing and he called a neonatologist in Vancouver to get her opinion on things.  The specialist said that we should come back again the next day for another ultrasound to see if the fluid changed at all and then also to come on Monday for another Non stress test.  He said that for sure he would be inducing Andrea by 37 weeks because we just were having too many complications and there was no point delaying.  The non-stress test took 4 hours!  The baby wasn’t have the proper accelerations in her heartrate that they like to see, but she wasn’t having any decelerations.  So we left a little concerned wondering what was going on with baby and I just felt very unsettled and really scared that baby was having a hard time in there.

I was supposed to go home Friday morning, but I just felt like I needed to stay longer to make sure everything was okay with Andrea and with baby.  The ultrasound on Friday actually made me feel a little better because the tech said she didnt think the fluid on baby’s heart looked very bad and baby seemed to be doing okay in there.  The doctor met us down there and said he still wanted us back on monday for the non stress test, but Vancouver had said that there wasn’t any need for us to rush down there for an emergency c-section.  

I thought there was a possibility that I was going to be in williams lake until the baby arrived and that could be 2 weeks from then, so Dave, his brother Steve, sister in law Cathryn and my kids all drove the long journey to come see me for the weekend.  Cathryn is a labor and delivery nurse, so she was also going to just stay with us in case we had any kind of home birth or car birth because Andrea lived 90 minutes from the hospital.  It really eased my mind.  The kids had a blast on Andreas farm, such a fun adventure but they needed to go home on the sunday so the guys could get back to work and the kids school.

Andrea had been saying all weekend that it seemed like baby wasn’t moving quite as much as she used to.  When babies get bigger, they tend to move less because of space, but this seemed like a big change.  I was just glad we were going to the hospital on monday morning so we could just make sure everything was still going okay.  

We arrived at the hospital and Andrea got hooked up to the monitors to check on baby.  Immediately I could see the nurses looking at each other and whispering and as a lay person I had no idea what they were looking at.  I didnt want to stress Andrea out with my worries so with Cathryn sitting beside me, I texted her to find out what was going on since she also was making weird faces.  She messaged me back saying that the baby’s heart rate was decelerating a lot and she was thinking they were going to be taking baby out of there today.   I was in shock but still didnt really believe it, she was still 4 and a half weeks early at this point and I didnt know how well she would do outside.  The doctor came in and said he had been talking to other specialists and they all felt like today was the day for baby.  The problem was that they don’t really have a NICU at the hospital and were figuring out if they could transfer andrea to another hospital in time. There wasn’t time, baby just wasn’t doing well and she was a little over 35 weeks, so there was a chance she would be just fine on her own.  Within 3 hours of arriving at the hospital, we were heading down for an emergency c-section.  

I felt excited, scared, and awful all at the same time.  I couldn’t wait to meet our new little one but I was worried she wasn’t going to do well and I felt awful for Andrea.  This is not what any of us expected, it wasn’t even really discussed because why would she need a c-section?  I had never needed one, she had never needed one, and there were no hints that this would happen.  I was terrified for her and for the recovery she would have to endure, all for us.  I had already asked so much of her, she had gone through a miscarriage at 11 weeks, a D&C, a failed transfer, months and months of medications, hours and hours of travelling for appointments, months of severe sickness and now she was getting her stomach cut open to save our baby.  The sacrifice of a surrogate is absolutely priceless and intense!!!

As Andrea was getting prepped to go in for surgery, they could not find a vein on her and while they were doing that they were monitoring the baby.  Suddenly they couldn’t find the baby’s heartbeat anymore and then it would pop up at 80, then disappear again.  They rushed Andrea away and decided to let the anesthesiologist deal with the IV’s and get this baby out.  They said they would come grab me once she was fully ready to go.  I just sat there stunned.  I was frantically trying to message people to let them know what was happening, and Dave was racing to the airport to come back to Williams lake after leaving the afternoon before.  I just couldn’t get my mind to figure out what was going on, I am sure I was just in a state of shock, but after about 20 minutes they came out and grabbed me to go in.  As I walked in, the cutting had already began and they said I was welcome to video and take pictures, they were all so awesome!!  

Poor andrea kept saying that she was feeling sharp pains, but she ended up telling them not to worry and just get baby out.  This may sound cheesy, I would never normally say this, but she was a warrior that day.  She stared at the ceiling so focused and the doctor leaned down and whispered, “when this is all over, I will give you some amazing drugs”.  I think everyone was impressed with not only what she was doing that day, but being surrogate and all that she was enduring for us.  She had many admirers at that hospital!

Within minutes, I see them pulling out my dark haired, tiny screamer.  She let them know that she was alive but very mad.  They took her to the warmer immediately and started testing her for all the vital signs and reflexes.  She was quite limp, but breathing fantastic and she just looked so tiny to me.  Once everything was tested, they wrapped her up and handed her to me.  That was one of the most incredible feelings I have ever had.  She was an absolute clone of her siblings, especially her sister, and so content once she was warm again.  I couldn’t believe she was here and that she actually looked like one of mine, kind of a strange feeling watching a baby come out of another woman’s stomach but is so much your child.  Very surreal moment.  I will never forget this moment for the rest of my life, the moment when your life felt complete and perfect.  We had the final piece to our puzzle and she was perfect.  

We left the surgical suite and headed back to the maternity ward and my sister in law Cathryn was standing there waiting to meet the new baby, I was so glad she was there!  Not having Dave there was hard, but knowing I had cathryn made it ok.  There was someone else that loved the baby so much and was there to help me through the emotions of everything.  She kept me calm and sane and explained all the medical stuff so I wouldnt worry.  The fun thing, was as soon as I sent the picture of the baby being born to dave, he sent me a text back and said it came as the plane was taking off.  Im sure he felt super relieved knowing everything was going to be ok while he was flying.  

The baby needed to do some testing, she needed an NG tube put down her nose and into her stomach because they wanted X-rays of her esophagus to make sure everything looked okay.  Her sugars were also very low, so they wanted to do feeding through the tube to make sure she was getting everything she needed without having to exert energy to get it.  She also couldn’t maintain her temperature even when skin to skin, so she needed to go in the incubator for the night.  This baby girl went through so many tests, the heel pokes always made me so sad.  She had two done every two hours for 24 hours and then they started only doing one every two hours for the next 12 hours.  She also had to have her bilirubin tested each day because it was too high and so she was put on the lights for almost 48` hours.  She looked so cute with her little glasses—like a little space alien or something.  They ended up taking out her NG tube on Wednesday because her sugars had stabilized. 

Dave, cathryn and I just spent the days taking turns snuggling her and watching movies. We went to see Andrea with the baby every day so they could check on each other.  Andrea ended up going home on Wednesday afternoon with her family and we took a bunch of photos with them.  Andreas girls were so happy to see their mom and see that she was doing okay and they were very excited to finally meet the baby who had been taking over their lives for the last while.  They were so sweet with her and told her that they loved her.  This little one is very loved by so many people, its just going to be such a cool thing to be able to tell her one day how wanted she was by so many.  

Thursday morning the paediatrician came in and told us that baby seemed really healthy and ready to leave the hospital.  She wanted us to stay one more night in williams lake so we could come back in the morning for another bilirubin test.  So we went to our hotel and celebrated with Boston Pizza and an early night.  haha  Starting over with a newborn after 9 years is EXHAUSTING!!!!  You do somewhat forget how tired you actually get with no sleep.  The next morning the test came back really good and we were allowed to make the journey home!!!  We couldn’t wait to have the kids meet their little sister, this has been talked about for so long I think they didnt actually believe a baby was going to ever come home.  I don’t even think I ever believed it would happen.  It took us two days to get home because she needed to come out of her carseat every hour to make sure she was getting enough oxygen.  She was just so tiny in her carseat and so fragile!  When we finally got home, jordyn came running down the stairs yelling “little sister, little sister, I love you”.  Luke is a typical 11 year old boy and he just came out and looked at her and said “oh, hi”.  

So it only took us 24 hours to finally settle on a name for little peanut.  We were under a lot of pressure too because the lawyers couldn’t start on paperwork until we gave them the name.  I for some reason just struggled and struggled to pick one, I was definitely over thinking it.  I knew her name the moment I saw her, but I hesitated for a long time.  Cathryn kept saying “Jolayne, she looks just like that name, just call her that”.  Haha  So, welcome to the world:

Ryan V Burnham, born on January 30, 2017 at 1:38pm weighing 5lbs 13oz and 19 3/4 inches long.  Your middle name is after your great grandma Gibb—Verda.  She told me that if I ever gave my kids her name she would roll in her grave, she hated her name.  She was so adamant about it, I decided I didnt want to be haunted by her, so you just got the initial.  She was one of the strongest women I have ever known, she was kind, she was an amazing listener, she was so non-judgemental, she loved everyone she came in contact with and she was my best friend.  I can’t believe she isnt here to hold you, but she would have adored you and been so proud to share an initial with you.  Ryan, you are loved beyond anything I could have imagined, you have a family who wanted you so badly, and even a stranger came forward to bring you into this world.  Don’t ever doubt that you are loved, I just hope I can stop staring at you all of the time so you don’t think your mom is super creepy.

So just a quick end note.  The pathology came back on Ryan’s umbilical cord and placenta.  She had something called a Velamentous Cord Insertion—“The umbilical cord inserts into the fetal membranes then travels within the membranes to the placenta.  The exposed vessels are not protected by Whartons jelly and hence are vulnerable to rupture.”  The doctor said hers was so bad that she was not going to survive the day and if we had tried to do a natural birth, it would have torn and Ryan would have immediately died and also could have lost andrea.  This has a super high infant mortality rate and we are lucky we had such good doctors and nurses who trusted their gut and decided to get baby out.  It has a high miscarriage rate as well, so we are so so lucky Ryan is here and that everything turned out great.  She is healthy, Andrea is healing well, and we all get to go forward feeling nothing but joy.  

Its Been Awhile

Sorry everyone who reads this blog!  I have been so so neglectful with our story, Andrea has given me looks and is saying I am putting this off too long.  Whoops!  You know when life gets crazy, this sort of thing gets put to the side and I so easily say "oh, I will get to that tomorrow"?  Yeah, my life in a nutshell lately.

Lets talk about this little bugger!  We now know 100% that we can start calling the baby a GIRL!!  We are so excited to meet her and to hold her.  We are 27 weeks along on Thursday and feeling pretty confident that she is in there for the long haul.  Andrea is having a perfect pregnancy, health wise anyway.  haha.  She isn't getting much sleep because this little muffin never stops moving or kicking her.  When we went for an ultrasound baby was doing back flips over and over and poor Andrea had to feel it on the inside.  It sure didn't seem too comfortable for her.  I was just sitting there watching this all go on and what a crazy feeling--this is my baby in her tummy.  Generally I have gotten quite used to our not so normal version of normal, but during ultrasounds it can feel totally surreal.   In the 3d ultrasounds you can really see the baby's face and she most definitely belongs to us, so we aren't stressing anymore that maybe the embryo was switched, or were they sure they put the right sperm with the right egg?  haha.  Still, it is odd that I don't get those painful kicks, or those sleepless nights and Andrea really knows this baby so well already, and yet it's my baby.  The one thing that has helped me feel so okay with it is that this must be how men feel during pregnancies, I am sure.  So I channel my inner Dave and accept that I will have this baby in my arms soon, but she is being really well looked after by her surrogate mom in the meantime.

The best thing is that during the 3D ultrasound you could tell how happy she is in there.  She was so snuggly, and then she would start smiling--it was adorable!  She was grabbing her umbilical cord and snuggling it like a blanket and then she would suck her thumb.  Many blankeys and soothers in her future I guess.  She looked so perfect and all I wanted to do was take her out and snuggle her--I had to be reminded that she is only a pound right now, so I better wait for the snuggles.

So here is our baby girl, now just to figure out a name for this muffin.  

Smiley girl

 Rubbing her eyes and gripping her umbilical cord

 Cute little hands

So for the last couple months Andrea has been having some intense braxton hicks with this baby, and last week they seemed especially strong.  She let me know that she was headed to the hospital to make sure she wasn't going in to labour and I got to do the fun waiting game here.  The doctors monitored her all day and said yes, they were braxton hicks but we needed to be prepared for a possibility of early labour with this one.  I am crossing all of my fingers and toes that we won't have to go through a scary early labour then life flight to Vancouver, and also a temporary move for me away from the rest of my family, but that is definitely in the back of our minds as a possibility.  I am not going to stress about it yet though, because that isn't helpful.  haha.  Andrea has also been suffering with severe acid reflux and sleepless nights in addition to the painful contractions...thanks for taking this one for the team, lady!!!  It can be quite the challenge for me to not feel guilty over it, because these symptoms are most definitely consistent with my babies.  I suffered through two pregnancies, but at least I was suffering for my own baby, not having someone else do it for me.  A big "but" is that Andrea hates when I feel guilty.  She always puts my mind at ease in that she's "got this" and in 90 days she will gladly pass little baby my way to suffer with for the rest of the 18 years to life. She makes me laugh.  

Here she is at 27 weeks,  Her snowpants are ADORABLE! 

So the rollercoaster continues, but baby girl is finally at a pretty viable stage and we will hope for the full term baby.  But, whenever she decides she needs to come, we will do whatever we need to do for this little miracle of ours.  

New name ideas:  Frankie Renee
                              Sloan Renee

Our Happy Place

Right now I am sitting in the most beautiful place, the lake I have grown up going to my whole life, in Montana. This is where I feel peace, joy, and enjoy some of my most happy memories!

And just like I had it as a child, my children are now getting to enjoy it with their cousins. 

I feel so recharged to face life again.  Today I was anxiously waiting to hear how Andrea and the baby we're doing at the ultrasound. I wish I could have been there with her, but I am so glad if I couldn't be there, I am here in Montana.

Andrea and I exchanged some nervous texts before the ultrasound this morning, we were both feeling the excitement and the nerves. All of a sudden I got a message, "It's Alive! Heartbeat is 162 and the baby is moving like crazy."  I was relieved, but also longed to be there. I wasn't going to be able to see movements because the tech wouldn't allow video, but Andrea did send me some pictures. Here's our rainbow baby!!!

Friends, Horses, babies and nurses

This has been a very stressful couple of weeks.  Andrea was having lots of bleeding until one day her symptoms just up and decided to leave.  We were worrying heavily that we had lost this baby as well.  It was just so similar to everything that happened last time.  Why this journey can not just go smoothly I will never know, but at least we are constantly reminded how alive we are.  Yikes


I flew to Williams lake for our 10 week ultrasound on Tuesday and had some major fun with Andrea. I have been going on and on about how jealous I am of her life. My dream would be to live on a farm with chickens, goats, sheep, and horses. That is her life!  I have a love affair with horses but for some reason I never take the opportunity to actually ride them. I just absolutely adore them. Well, Andrea surprised me with a trail ride while we were in Williams lake! We went to the most amazing ranch!  I am most definitely taking the kids there--Spring Lake Ranch--there was a lake, horse rides, cabins, all nestled in the most gorgeous forest. Seriously, so gorgeous. I fell in love with the place immediately. My horse was a little devil, but my kind of girl. She was sassy, tried to take the lead, listened to nobody, and wouldn't stop eating. Yeah, my spirit animal. Haha. Here's some fun pics from our ride. 

Seriously, I haven't laughed like that in a really long time. This surrogacy stuff has been agonizing and so painful, man I needed this. It was just fun to take our minds off the upcoming ultrasound; to be outside with these majestic animals (who of course pee'd on me and pooped nonstop). It was awesome. Andrea constantly pushes me to do these things and I adore her for it. I'm supposed to be spoiling her, but it's usually the opposite. That is who she is: a caring, loving, mothering type. How could she not be??  She's carrying a baby for another family, so she's either incredible or crazy.   I choose to think it's a little from column A and a little from column B.


Now on to what most people are looking for, the story of the ultrasound. Do you think this could have gone smoothly for us???  Yeah right!! We were both so sick to our stomachs before the appointment. We both had a bad feeling going in, and we put off going inside that brutal hospital as long as we could. The last time I was there was the day we found out we lost the first pregnancy and the last time she was there she was getting a D&C. Not fun memories. I swear I have ptsd cause as soon as I got there, I started to struggle with my breathing and I had a minor anxiety attack. I couldn't take another heartbreak!  So we walked in and went to the desk and the lady said, "I'm sorry, we have to cancel your appointment today because the tech went home with pinkeye". What?!?!?!?  I had to walk away because I was literally holding back big, ugly sobs. 


Dejected, we left the hospital.  While Andrea was driving out of the parking lot, I jumped out of the car and raced back inside. MAMA BEAR!! I begged the lady to find a doctor or nurse or let me do the ultrasound. I was begging and begging and begging. No way, she said, we have no way of doing this. I died a little inside. I had to go home that afternoon and couldn't come back for the new appointment scheduled for the following Monday. Plus, Andrea has been having some bad symptoms and we were very concerned we were losing, or had already lost, this baby.


As Andrea and were talking, trying to console each other, we found out that her good friend had had a baby that day in the very same hospital. We decided to go visit the baby to help us feel happy. Plus, we both thought maybe a nurse would use a Doppler on us in the maternity ward. I was desperate, okay past desperate by this time. So in we went to the maternity ward to visit her friend and beg for mercy.  A nurse came out and said her friend was sleeping and didn't want us to disturb her, which we were fine with, but I couldn't help myself. I asked her if she could help us and pleaded with her, telling her that I was desperate.  The nurse said she would see what she could do.  Before long she had found another more senior nurse who came out and took pity on us.  She said  "let's go see if we can hear anything." She warned us that at 10 weeks we may not hear anything. Well guess what?  We heard nothing!!!  This nurse was amazing, she just kept checking and checking for the heartbeat but it wasn't there. I looked at Andrea and literally I saw the life go out of her eyes. She couldn't handle this either. The nurse stood up and said to wait.  We had no idea why until she came back with a bedside ultrasound. She is a pure saint this girl, like all the nurses in my life. Just the most compassionate person - so kind, and I could tell she didn't want to give up. She put that ultrasound on Andrea's belly and here is the video:

 It's pretty tough to make out, but on the bottom left you can see a tiny flutter of a heart, and above the body you can see a little hand waving back and forth. We both died right there. I loved the wave, it was like the baby was saying--"hi, I'm in here and still going". This day could not have been more of an up and down day. Super happy, then super sad, then super happy again. I barely kept my eyes open on the plane, I was emotionally exhausted!

So Andrea goes back Monday for the better ultrasound with a heart rate for us and measurements. But I am so thrilled to know that baby is happy right now. I was so scared we lost that bean again, but that little wave made me melt. There are few times in life when you will never forget a moment and falling in love with your child is one of those moments. Can I just say that if any of you have nurses in your life, give them a hug today?  This nurse will forever be in my memory!!  I just want to figure out her name so I can send her a gift. Nurses do so much and they make the hospitals a safe and comforting place. I have so much love and happiness in my heart today, I could explode. Sorry if this is a sappy post, but I am just so proud of Andrea and so glad she chose us. This would never have happened without this woman in our life and I can't imagine what we did to deserve her. Thank you Andrea!  We love you and so will this baby one day!

Ultrasound #1

Another trip to Vancouver has come to an end!  We met at the hotel, the wrong hotel because I for some reason booked a hotel on the other side of the city instead of our normal hotel.  Andrea has pregnancy brain and I obviously am trying to have that illness too.  Anyway, we went out for some food and went to a movie together.  As usual Andrea kept me laughing and super entertained!  The girl has some crazy stories and it makes me so jealous that her life is so exciting.  Living on a farm in the middle of nowhere is super cool!  She has been teaching this city girl quite a few things, and insists on making me rough it with her sometime.  We will see if she can succeed with that, many have failed.
This is what I think of when someone brings up camping

OR

So as you can see, I have very happy thoughts about camping.  

We woke up the next morning and Andrea wanted to show me the horse race track before our ultrasound, I have never been and thought that sounded fun.  I have a love affair with horses, so all I cared about was being up close to them.  There ended up not being any races going on before our appointment, but being with Andrea is always an adventure.

Both of us were really nervous about the ultrasound since the last time we had one we ended up finding out that we had lost the baby.  Andrea had been bleeding for a week and during first trimester of pregnancy this can be common, but bleeding is never something that makes me comfortable.  The doctor came in and I saw the baby right away and we both saw the heartbeat immediately.  What a relief to see a little bean in there alive and healthy.

I know it can be hard to see but the baby is the blob in the middle of the black hole.   Here is our baby!!!

It is seriously a miracle to hear something that tiny--the size of a blueberry at the time--have a heartbeat!!  I will keep on saying that science is super cool!  That we even have the technology to see and hear this stuff is amazing.  

Since Andrea has been bleeding and we have had a loss before, we are going to be doing ultrasounds every 2 weeks until we feel it is a healthy, viable pregnancy.  I am flying to Williams Lake on the 2nd for ultrasound #2 which will put us at almost 10 weeks.  Our last pregnancy based on the size of the baby ended at week 9, so I am crossing my fingers and toes that we will have a happy ultrasound in 2 weeks.  

We are all so excited that things are going well so far, we all are convinced this baby is a girl and I even did something funny to find out.  There is something called the Ramzi Theory which looks at ultrasounds and based off of where the placenta is forming in your uterus they can tell what your baby's gender is.  I know, I know, its probably all hocus pocus, but I don't care because its just plain fun!!  So based off of the Ramzi Theory, they said that baby is a girl too!  So if the placenta is on the left its a girl, right and its a boy.

So we have some names picked out and I am not one of those that keeps that to myself.  So help us out and tell us what you think of these three names we are thinking of:

Piper
Colbie
Eden

I am sure as time goes on, we will have many more to choose from, but these are our faves so far.  If this baby is a boy, I apologize in advance.  I have been wrong with both of our other kids, so I wouldn't be that shocked.  

Thanks so much for all of the congratulations, we are so so excited!!

3rd Time IS the Charm

I have been so lazy and a little nervous about blogging!  Its funny all the crazy emotions you go through with IVF and also surrogacy.  You are super happy, super sad, hopeful, angry, full of love, and sometimes very depressed.  Its something I definitely don't take for granted because this experience has taught me so much about myself and about perseverance!  

As probably most of you know because a lot of my blog followers are either family or friends on facebook, we are pregnant!!!  I took everyone on facebook for a little roller coaster ride by first telling them that this transfer didn't work again, to then telling them the next day that it worked.  Whoops!!  My bad!  It says a lot about my emotions going through all of this and my natural tendency to jump to negative conclusions.  

When we started this journey with Andrea, we all were so sure this would be smooth sailing especially because we got pregnant so easily the first time but then losing that baby at 11 weeks and then failing at our second attempt, panic can set in.  This round, we were all so sure it was it.  3rd times the charm right??  So when Andrea took 2 pregnancy tests the day of our blood work and they both came back negative--I was devastated.  No one gets negative pregnancy tests and then have a positive beta HCG (blood test for pregnancy) the same day.  So the next day when the phone call came from Andrea that the tests the next day were positive and then the doctor said the blood work was alos positive, I was not prepared!  But we are sooooooo happy!!! 

So here is our timeline from transfer:

June 15--transfer day of a 5 day blastocyst.  

She did it alone this time.  I felt awful, we were in Italy visiting my parents and nature does not follow schedules.  I somewhat wonder if this was better for Andrea.  I can be a nervous, crazy person in there.  My nerves show up in weird ways too! I go through all the drawers in the clinic and sneak in to places I shouldn't be.  Almost like a 10 year old boy.  I have lots of experience with them.  She is always telling me to sit down and relax, but I need to explore every nook and cranny and push all the buttons.  I even put the ultrasound machine on myself to see if I could find the area where my uterus should be. SO, I am sure it was a very calm experience this time. 

I emailed the embryologist to give me some info on the embryo this time around.  She said the embryo had 100% cell survival after thawing, so a very good chance for implantation. She said our clinic that did grading called it a grade B4.2.1 Grading is done different at different clinics, but with what I have learned, this is a great embryo.  Here's our baby!!!  Its so weird seeing it from so early on.  Crazy that this turns in to a baby!  I love science

June 22-Day 7 or as we IVF people call it 7dp5dt-beta tests came back at 81.
Here's the test Andrea took the following morning before we got the blood test results back.  She had one test left and just decided to use it.  She wasn't even going to look at it because she was also so sure it would be negative.  Sure glad she didn't chuck it!!  haha
 

I am going to add a picture that I added in an earlier post to help explain the numbers and what is normal ranges during this process.  I find it fascinating and I am obviously crazy because I research and research and research till there is literally no more information I could learn about beta blood work.  haha

So as you can see, on Day 7, 81 is above average, so that's very promising.  We are looking for our numbers to double every 48 to 72 hours, and that tends to be the thing we are watching for the most.  It will tell you if this is a viable pregnancy or not.

June 25- Day 10 or 10p5dt-beta test came back as 364.  Also a fantastic number, above average, and we are doubling in under 48 hours, so that is also a great thing.

July 2- Day 17 or 17dp5dt- beta came back at 4577.  Above average again and still doubling under 48 hours.

We are all beyond thrilled, well Andrea is pregnant and having the fun symptoms of that, but we are still thrilled.  haha  She says that she is so exhausted, wanting to eat really weird things, and a tad moody....  We love her so much for doing this for us, what a road she has been on to have a baby for someone else.   I apologize constantly about my baby.  My babies cause very strange cravings, I suffered from severe PICA with both.  So I can't wait to hear what happens with this pregnancy.  Luke it was vinegar, that's all I ever wanted.  I drank it in secret and doused everything in it.  It was really bad.  Jordyn I sniffed sponges.  I wanted to eat them, but Dave wouldn't let me.  What a drag.  I know!!!  Super weird.  I would have a sponge in my pocket every day that got switched out when the smell wasn't as strong and I had one during labor as well.  So hopefully this one is entertaining too. Love you Andrea.  bahahaha

Next Wednesday, July 13 we are heading to Vancouver for our first ultrasound.  Andrea will be about 7 weeks, so we should be able to see a heartbeat and make sure this little bean is healthy.  I won't ever let her do an ultrasound without me since our last one we found out we lost the baby.  I was so relieved I was there for it because I couldn't imagine her having to make that phone call to us.  That is asking too much.  So I will be there holding her hand and us doing this together.  I have so much hope that this is it, so I have no doubt our little apple seed is growing and strong. 

Well, this has been an exciting couple of weeks and I cant wait for next Wednesday!!  I will update you all as soon as I get that picture and let you know how we are progressing.  Hope everyone had a fantastic Canada Day and 4th of July!  Let me know if you have any questions, would love to answer them.  

Failed Transfer

Well guys, not good news. We had a failed transfer this time around. Our pee tests came back negative all the way up to the blood test, which also came back negative. So we had to decide if we wanted to try again. I think we all were on board immediately to try for sure one more time. It's hard to keep having disappointments, but we all are trying to just move forward. The doctor talked to me and said that he wanted to only do one embryo again as our embryos are really good quality and he feared twins for us if we put in two. If it was my body, I would take the risk, but not for someone else to risk. He said it's a much more difficult decision when you involve a 3rd party to the mix and he didn't want to take those risks with her. He also was not sure why it isn't working. He said she is perfectly healthy, the embryos are fantastic and he has high hopes for a success. He also said our miscarriage was very strange but he knows that Andrea can get pregnant. So we are trusting the doctor for this third round. 

When Andrea's cycle started after going off of the meds,  it was a really bad one so we all thought it would be a good idea to give her body a month off. Today she went back to Vancouver to have her insides painfully checked with shooting water. It's an awful experience!!!  The doctor confirmed that everything with her looks perfect and we can start again for her June cycle. So looks like we will transfer again mid to late June. It's a complicated month for us as we will be visiting my parents from June 2-18th in Italy, so I am hopeful we will be back in time for me to be with Andrea for transfer. If not, she is one tough lady and doesn't really need me, but it's so fun to do this together. So we all our very hopeful for June, which would give us a march baby, and that would be a pretty awesome birthday present for Jordyn, our daughter. If this works, we will have been in this process together for almost 2 1/2 years. She has become family as well as her daughters. So no matter what, we found each other, and that's just amazing!!  

We were all so sad, but again we want to thank everyone for their support. We are starting fresh and not allowing these hard things damper our spirits or cause us fear for June. This is a new start and new excitements. Can't wait to continue to write about it. Fun times ahead!!!